Beautiful Disaster
by Gylfie
Summary: The female Hogwarts professors decide to take the Ron Hermione relationship into their own hands.
1. Chapter 1

**Planning**

"All right, ladies. I have called you to this meeting because we have an emergency on our hands," McGonagall explained. She looked in the eyes of Professors Hooch, Sprout, and Trelawney.

"I know this is a task a little out of the ordinary for us, but as I see…"

"Skip to the point, Minerva," Professor Hooch interrupted impatiently.

"It's Hermione. Hermione Granger."

"Hermione?" Professor Sprout repeated in alarm. "Since when has Miss Granger been an issue?"

"Well, I didn't mean it like that!" McGonagall retorted agitatedly. "It has nothing to do with school work or anything as mundane as that."

"Then why are we interfering?" Professor Hooch interjected.

"Because." McGonagall began, lowering her voice. "This is true love."

"What! You called us in from our valuable lesson time to discuss the latest gossip! This is an outrage, especially from you, Minerva! If you want to meddle with love affairs, please do it on your own time." Professor Hooch stated indignantly.

"I always knew she was too much of a soap opera type!" Professor Sprout accused.

McGonagall's nostrils flared warningly.

The room suddenly grew very silent.

"We are interfering because Miss Granger is missing out on something that could be very special. She's afraid of love because of her childhood. But it sort of snuck up on her."

"Who is the dashing young man?"

"Ronald. Ronald Weasley."

"RON!"

"Yes, Ron."

"These teenagers have very twisted love lives."

"That may be so, but Miss Granger is finally recognizing her true feelings and now she's turned her back on it."

"Oh good! She finally has taken heed to one of my prophecies."

"Please restrain yourself, Sybill. We are in the realm of facts."

"All right, so what are we going to do? Why not just use the Imperious curse if you're so desperate!"

"Madam Hooch, you know that would be most inappropriate under any circumstances!"

"Well, I'll admit I've been pretty tempted to use it on some of those morons we call 'Slytherin quidditch players'."

"We're not going to force Hermione to do anything! We're just going to _help_ her see what she's missing and put her past behind her."

"When you said 'help'…"

"All right, we may have to use some force and stealth, but…"

"So what exactly are we doing?"

"Okay, we first have to somehow drug her or something simple, and then we have a woman-to-woman talk with her. Simple."

"We'll have to get Poppy in on this one. She has sleeping draught and everything." Madam Hooch suggested.

"But what if she resists or something else unexpected?" Professor Sprout asked.

"We're not going to hurt her or anything, but I doubt she stands much of a chance against any one of us." Professor McGonagall replied. "If she gets too close to escaping, we stun her and reform plans. Just try really hard not to hurt her."

"So we're allowed to use mild force against her if she becomes difficult?"

"Yes, _mild_ force."

"Let's do this, ladies."


	2. Chapter 2

**Burn**

"RON! STOP IT!" Hermione screamed, grabbing his heaping spoon of nightshade. "If you put that in the potion, it will blow up!"

"Well, excuse me, Miss Know-it-all, the book says 3¾ tablespoon of ground nightshade, right there." He pointed to the directions.

Hermione couldn't help but grin smugly. "Really. Would you please be kind enough to read it to me?"

"Fine." Ron said, equally smug. "The recipe reads put in ¾ of a tablespoon, ground nightshade. Ha!"

Ron's face fell when he realized what he'd just said. Hermione laughed coldly and re-measured his nightshade, gently sprinkling it into his hissing cauldron. Ron glowered and shut his book angrily.

"Why don't you just mind your own work!" he growled, snatching the cauldron from her hands.

"Well sorry that I prevented you from being blown up, but I'd already finished mine and thought you could use some help. Apparently, you can't even read to begin with!"

"Maybe you read too much." Ron hissed.

Hermione rolled her eyes. "Oh, that hurt Ron."

"Maybe the reason you read so much is because you can't seem to secure yourself some decent friends!"

Hermione gave him an affronted look. "Apparently so, as you're my friend and you can't even read!"

Harry, who was sitting between the two, sighed heavily. He'd become accustomed to this squabble in potions. He wondered why Ron couldn't just appreciate the fact that she'd saved his life or why Hermione couldn't be more humble about it. But he knew it was going to be a long time, if ever, that the two realized this.

"Hey, Hermione, can you help me? I don't know how many times I'm supposed to stir this. I just put in the wolfs bane." Harry said, trying to break the two up.

"Sure, Harry, I'd love to," Hermione said almost too sweetly.

Ron snarled. Hermione turned to help Harry. Ron, seizing the opportunity, poured the entire contents of her nightshade into her potion.

BOOM.

In the next instant, Harry, Ron, and Hermione were all doused in the boiling concoction.

"BLOODY-" a huge dollop of the potion dripped into Ron's mouth. He was silenced.

Snape looked at the three of them mildly. "The potion burns. Please proceed to Hospital Wing after you can each successfully produce this potion correctly."

"But, Professor, we'll be scalded soon. It won't take long for this burn through our clothes!" Harry retorted.

"Then I suppose you three hurry." He replied coldly.

The three exchanged glances.

"Let's go." Harry said. The other two nodded, hurrying off.

Snape sighed. "I guess that'll just be another zero…"

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Why didn't you come sooner?" Madam Pomfrey wailed, applying huge amounts of lotion to their shiny burns.

"Snape wasn't going to let us leave until we finished the potion," Harry said glumly, his face screwed up in pain. "But we left anyway. I didn't think we'd have the time before that stuff burned through about three layers of skin."

"I'm not sure what to do about your poor little mouth," the nurse sighed. Ron's entire tongue was covered in blisters.

"Don't do anything," Hermione said. "Maybe it will keep him quiet."

Ron, who was still not able to speak, shot daggers in her direction. Hermione smiled pleasantly back. Madam Pomfrey shook her head impatiently and searched for a potion to heal them up. Smiling to herself, she took a large purple-colored bottle down from her dusty shelves and made her way back over to them.

"Here," she uncorked the bottle and quickly poured its contents down his throat. Ron gagged and painfully swallowed it.

"That should help, but it might be a couple days before you can speak and you might have some trouble eating. These things just take time. All right, my dears, sleep well. If all goes as planned, you two," she looked at Harry and Hermione. "Will be discharged tomorrow. Ron, you might need a little more time."

Ron miserably sunk back into his pillows.

"Oh, Hermione." She handed her a letter. "This is for you. It's from Professor McGonagall."

"Thank you," Hermione said as the nurse turned off the lights.

"What's that all about?" harry asked.

"Dunno…" Hermione opened the letter and quickly scanned its contents. "It's the professors…they want to invite me to dinner with them?"

Harry shot her a puzzled look.

"Sounds like fun." He said.


End file.
